The further adventures... (DBG Part 3)

Tue, 21 February 2012

Another update means (I'm sorry to say) another lengthy outline of David's goings on.

First, I'd like to thank David's dad (Dave, confusingly enough) and his wife Rachel for offering their support in trying to deal with the situation that David's instigating. After a 96 minute conversation on Thursday night we both reached the conclusion that David is unlikely to change and unlikely to even understand the effect he is having on his family with his actions. That was only one conclusion. There were a lot.

David's reaction to the fact that I was talking to his dad about his behaviour? "Wow, they had a conversation for that long without having an argument? Amazing. Good, but amazing." Sadly, he doesn't understand the concept of "united against a common enemy". ;-)

Anyway, David's inability to return to the house continued last week for the half term holidays. He spent Wednesday out of the house, only returning late at night with the usual excuses about losing track of time or having to wait for Anna's dad to come back. As I write this I can't remember exactly which one. Thursday we were graced with his presence and on Friday I think he was in for at least some of the day. I'm not entirely sure about Friday, actually. I think Friday was the day he was supposed to be back quite early but ended up staying out again until Anna's dad could bring him back, because he needed to find out what the details wer for the birthday party he had been invited to for Anna's mum. Saturday he went to party. In the morning he demanded that his mother do all the running about to get a present, I might add. This is Mr. "I want to be an adult" here, but mummy has to get all his shopping for him.

So Saturday he goes out to this party having done absolutely nothing that he was asked to do in the house. He says he doesn't know when he'll be back. He is given Amy's new telephone number and told to text her or one of our phones when he has some idea of the time but to make sure it isn't too late. He doesn't do any of this and makes Anna text Amy's old phone with a message saying he won't be back until the next day. Of course, since Amy's old phone no longer works, we don't get this message. We have no choice but to go to bed.

The sad fact is that by this time we are being blase about him not coming back. You see, he's set the standard now that we shouldn't worry about not knowing where he is and that if he doesn't let us know then we shouldn't worry. So what do we do? Do we tell the police he's missing? Do we stay up and wait and fret about it? For my part I don't much care at the moment what happens to him. He's made his own decisions on the matter (and it doesn't matter whether they're the wrong decisions) so why should I bother? Besides, it means Derri gets a good night's sleep since he won't have to put up with the lights being on or him playing his music at stupid volume through the night. My concern is still that his mother worries about him to the detriment of her own health.

Interestingly, last night Anne said that she was worrying less about him. So David's actions are having the predicted effect. I never thought it would happen, but he's managing to push her away too!  It looks like she's distancing herself from the situation and thus from him. Not a healthy position for a mother to be in, by all means, but from my point of view she's done and said all she can do and say to protect him or to help him. He wanted the responsibility and now, whether he's able to manage it or not, it looks like that's what he's getting.

Anyway, he didn't come back on Saturday. His mentor Ashleigh came for him on Sunday morning to be told that he wasn't in and that we hadn't seen him since the previous afternoon and had no idea where he was. Amy gave Ashleigh Anna's phone number and was told that we thought he was with her but couldn't be sure. She called him and we don't know what was said, but she texted us to tell us that he was there and that he was OK and they were rearranging their day for next week. If he remembers or cares or doesn't have anything better to do.

Monday he went back to college, apparently after being surly and grumpy all morning (as far as Anne was concerned). He texted Amy (possibly after Amy texted him) again to tell her that he wasn't coming back for tea and that he'd be back later. Of course, we were all sitting wondering where he was and waiting to organise our own family meal. But he didn't care.

He walked back in at about 8. I was at our neighbour's and got a text to tell me he was back. He went upstairs and no-one spoke to him. I came back, went out again to get our now late tea (more because of the "vortex" between Dave's house and mine) and apparently when he heard me go out he came back downstairs then went back upstairs when I came back. More manipulation to see if he can get Anne annoyed at me, I think.

And that was all we saw of him all night. He went to college today as normal after a shouting match with Derri this morning (which I stayed out of for a change). I note today that David was somehow on facebook around 2am posting pictures of his Beiber-like mug. I'd like to know how he managed that one.

We don't really know who he is any more. Well, as said before, he'll soon find out the consequences of his actions.  I'll leave that ominous sounding sentence as the end of the DBG related stuff.

You know, I could be talking about so many more useful and interesting things. Like Order of the Stick and their record breaking drive to republish the old books. Target for the pledge drive was about $50,000. They've raised $1,200,000. Wow.

Or the book I'm reading at the moment about the last day of the Soviet Union. It's awesome. Oh well.

Addendum: it's now 18:41 - I finished work at 17:30, but am still at the office. David promised he would be back home straight from work to be there for Derri. He hasn't come back yet. If Anne hadn't decided to stay home from work which David doesn't know about) then Derri would be on his own. 


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